Well, I told you guys that things may get a little out of hand considering that Me AND Matt were going to rent scooters and drive the girls to the other side of the island.. Boy was that the understatement of the year..
The scooter-rental-guys were dropping them off at 8 o clock, so I decided to wake up at 7:30 and get ready to meet them.. We got out there and the rental guys were great. They showed us how to use everything, lock the steering wheels, and even gave us a “really good deal” on the LIABILITY insurance.. That means, if someone hits us, that someone covers it. If we hit someone, we pay for the damage to the scooter and the rental place pays for the damage done to the other person. That was the best they could do, so we got it and started getting mentally prepped.. Because, Like I said in my previous blog- Matts motorcycle experience included riding three wheelers when he was younger. Mine included that my brother has his motorcycle license. If you kinda see what I’m hinting at, just stay tuned..
So we went into the girls room, got some breakfast and bragged about how we already knew EVERYTHING about the scooters because the guys had just spent all of 10 minutes showing us..
Little did we know that in the 10 minutes, they neglected to tell us that the accelerators can be a little finicky.. You barely rev them and the things freakin go!
So we all get out of the door, after a prayer or two, and tell the girls that we should probably take a spin around the block before they entrust their vacations/lives/medical bills to the guy that spilled an entire bag of cheetos on the kitchen floor, and the guy that, at one point didn’t know how to spell ESPN.. They definitely agreed that maybe a few laps would do us some good.. So we put down the kick stands, strapped on our Mandatory helmets, and fired’m up.. To start them, you turn the key, HOLD THE BREAK, and rev the engines.. This reminds me of a similar story:
One time in high school, I was like a freshman and Simon was a sophmore.. He was picking me and Jared up for like 2-a-days or something. Simon went in to talk to my dad or drop a deuce or something, so I decided to start his standard truck.. From the passenger seat.. I soon found out, that like the scooters, with a standard truck, you have to press in the break or make sure it is in neutral so it doesn’t lurch forward.. I did neither, and the truck shot into our open barn.. I don’t remember what it hit, but our barn is never clean, and I know it broke a few things.. I felt retarded.. Now for the scooters:
So though this could have happened to me, as Matt later pointed out, it didn’t.. I started my scooter up and started walking it off of the curb.. Well when Matt started his up, he didn’t Hold the Break, so his scooter did what Simon’s truck did.. It lurched forward.. Matt was standing to the side of the scooter, so what did he do? He jumped on.. I’m sure it was just reaction, and I’m sure a lot of guys would have reacted this way as well.. Try to stop it before it messes something up..
I was yelling “squeeze the break! Squeeze the Break!!” He had one side squeezed, but while trying to reach the other side, he was accelerating instead.. Matt was yelling “I’m trying!! I’m trying!!” He never found the other break..
His Scooter wasn’t pointed down the street luckily, and he wasn’t going faster than 10 miles an hour, but in a 10 foot area, that thing went from not moving to Holy Piss he’s going to die!! So his scooter jumped the curb on the other side (and by the way, got significant amount of air), killed/uprooted this baby palm tree (2-3 foot tall, and maybe 3-4 inches thick), dodged the park bench, and was side ways about 2 inches off the ground when the bottom of the moped hit the metal light pole..
My first reaction right when he jumped on the moving vehicle, was to laugh.. After I saw the remnants of the wreck and my friend breathing and getting up, it was something a little different (By the way, a local construction worker saw the entire thing and there is no telling what he was thinking..). So we all ran over to Matts aid and made sure he was alright.. He stood up, I’m sure going down the checklist to see that all of his bodily functions still worked, and walked a little bit.. Once I realized he was okay, I stood up the scooter and we all inspected the damage.. Nothing was bad wrong, but there was some definite cosmetic damage.. The front end paint job was pretty janked.. I’m not sure if it was from the tree, the light, or the pavement.. There was some plastic pieces missing.. And the speedometer disappears to be working (any one notice the office reference? “Stanley, we’re not always going to be there to coddle your heard back when it disappers to be working”).. And Matt had a few scrapes and bruises.. On his leg, and on his pride.. Haha..
So, after a long talk, some neosporen and a few band aids, we, that is me and Matt, decided to go for round two.. Hoping this time to make a lap around the block.. The girls weren’t on board quite yet..But we insisted..
So I lead, and Matt followed.. We were quite wobbly, and I had my own little scare with the finicky accelerator.. But off we went. At first, both of us were as close as you can get to holding the wheel at 10 and 2 on a mo-ped.. But by the end, we relaxed a little but, and got to enjoying ourselves.. I let Matt lead a little bit (so I could watch to see who was better, It was still me). But I was comfortable enough to take the girls if they were willing, and ole Mathew was too. He reminds me of the little engine that could.. But more like, a hulkish, buff guy that could.
The girls were still saying heck no to the riding double. So I jumped on with Stover to show them that it was alright.. I rode one lap around the block not knowing where to put my feet, just letting them dangle on each side while trying not to skin up my chacos.. Finally a local woman, riding a scooter as well, told me in perfect SPANISH where to put my feet. Matt told me that made it significantly less wobbly, so we took another lap. Then I took a lap with him on it (cute right..) and we headed home..
The girls still weren’t convinced, but after some coaxing, Matt got Kallye to “willingly” hop on for a lap or two.. After seeing Kallye on it Kyndal was ready to hop on and head to the other side..
We went to the store, got some refreshments and headed on our little “vacation”.. It was like a 30 minute drive, although we were going 55 the whole time.. And when I say 55, you may be thinking, Holy Crap 55 M/H?! No.. That’s 55 KM/H..Which means means we were going like 35 M/H.. But none of us knew that, we just thought we were dare devils (And when I say say “we” I really mean “me” because I was the only one with a speedometer).. We found out later the speed difference..
Other than our minor discrepancy at the beginning, we had an awesome day. Went to an awesome beach, played in the waves, got in some nappage. On our way home we went around the whole island, which the guy at a restaurant told us would take 2 maybe 2 1/2 hrs.. Took us and hour and a half.. On the way back, Matt lead, and we remembered later that he didn’t have a speedometer, so our average speed was somewhere between 70-90 KM/H..
I also found out later that Kallye wasn’t happy with him and his driving and the whole way back was telling him to slow down, or watch out for that taxi, or let these people pass you. Hahaha.. Kyndal either really trusted me, didn’t want to distract me, or was so desperately scared that she was closing her eyes in prayer that we would make it home.. I asked her later and she said it was a combination of the three.
So we got home, took some showers, and then went out to eat at a place that’s a long taxi ride normally. But since we had our scooters, we could go. Then we went back home and Matt wanted to go cruising some more.. The girls had already sworn never to don another scooter in this lifetime.. So me and Matt went out.. We only had a little bit of gas so we had two options: just cruise for a little bit, or make use of our rental and fill those man machines up. So we headed to the gas station. After driving the wrong way on 2 streets (which the locals quickly informed us of our mistakes each time, nice people down here), we got there.. Then we were set for hours of fun.. The other day when I tweeted that my 3 Amigos were taking the island by storm, that was an exaggeration at that point.. When me and Matt mounted up on our almost faithful steeds, that statement is the only one fitting enough.. Those Mexicanos were not ready for these 2 gringos and our lead feet.
We went around/in and out of the square like 5 times. We went to the airport, by the gas station again, and even back to the restaurant that was too far normally.. We were weaving in and out of traffic, passing scooters, taxi’s, and dog walkers.. I lost Stove Top twice.. Once he got caught in traffic, and once we drove by a hoard of police men who made their siren noise at us.. I pooped myself and kept driving.. Matt pulled over because he actually thought he was getting pulled over.. Awesome night!!! You guys will look at our face book pictures of us with our little helmets on and think, how can you feel manly in that?.. My answer- I have no idea, but it happened.. I think it may have been the fumes from the gasoline, but I was number one for a couple of hours.. Hahahaha
The next morning I was supposed to dive.. I forgot to set my alarm, but woke up like 45 minutes early.. So I figured I’d go to sleep for another 20.. I woke up an hour and a half later and realized how big of a moron a was once again.. So when the people got there to inspect the damage of their scooters I was hiding my face in embarrassment and left my boy in the trenches taking grenades all alone.. (real cool Justin..). So Sherief saw them trying to screw Matt over with the prices and started arguing with them.. Then Guadalupe, our awesome landlord, went to bat for Stover as well.. Nothing worked.. The only funny thing about this I’m sure was that Matt ended up having to ride double with the owner of the scooter to the ATM so he could pay for his riding lesson.. All the while, I was hiding my face/wallowing in my shame.. When I finally got up, everything was over with and all the homies were in the girls room.. So I joined, and got to listen to the circus antics that went on with out me..
Thursday was an awesome day, after the rocky start.. Friday started rocky as well, but also ended up being good.. Thanks for the prayers guys, and we’re all praying for you too! We may rent scooters again, if the girls are up to it. The girls are thinking seriously about getting certified, and Matt’s doing his advance as we speak.. Got like 11 days left, so we’re making the most of it! Love you all, and if you’re reading this because of Matt, Kyndal or Kallye, they love you too!!
