Alright, first of all, thank you guys for reading my blog!! I’ve loved doing it, and I’m glad that you guys/gals are enjoying it too. Recent facts have come to light that I may have, in my last few blogs, harped on everyone else’s mishaps and looked over mine. And you may be thinking to yourself, Justin Puckett has mishaps?? I know, I know, it’s a shock, but I do. And actually, I make Matt’s scooter wreck look like small potatoes compared to all the junk I’ve screwed up lately.. So I think most of today’s blog is going to be telling you guys about everything that has gone wrong since I’ve been a resident of this all-but-accommodating-climate for my overwhelming personality.. I’ve blogged about some of these, but I don’t want you guys to have forgotten them, so I’m listing everything I can remember:
First day I got here, I was on my way to the supermarket and I was texting on my phone.. I dropped it (for the first freaking time!!) and broke the screen.. Thanks NOKIA for making the worlds least idiot proof phone..
Luckily I brought a “spare” phone, which was my old one that I’d dropped a kagillion times.. If you’ve ever seen it lying around, you’d know it belonged to me because the screen was strait up spiderwebbed. And all of my friends knew never to borrow it to make a quick phone call because you can’t hear a thing.. (Which is why I got the new one..)
Right when I got here I bought a bike that even homeless people wouldn’t borrow from me.. The thing cost me like 25 bucks, complete with dry-rotted padding on the handle-bars, fat boy seat and a basket on the front.. It took me two weeks to break, but while I was driving it to the pier for a dive, one of my pedals fell off in the middle of the street..
Like 4th day here I looked like the worlds laziest person because I missed a dive that was at 11 o’clock in the morning.. The thing was, Sherief normally tells me the night before if I’m diving, but since he didn’t pass on the message, I ASSUMED I wasn’t.. I woke up at 10:30 but didn’t step out of my door until 1:30, where I found his note that told me I was diving.. Still haven’t lived that one down.
When Kallye, Kyndal, and Matt got here, I spilled a half-gallon of paint on the tile of our “front porch” and all over my feet/favorite sandals that I’ve had since the 8th grade. And none of the girls brought finger nail polish remover, so this oil based paint has clung to my toe nails for over a month.. Luckily, since my nails are covered up, I haven’t had to trim them in awhile, and still can’t tell if they’re too long. The next “morning” (12 noon) I saw that the paint had been cleaned up, so I went and showed the landlord my paint covered feet/sandals and payed him for cleaning up after me..
The night after the paint spill, I went to use my “spare phone” and the screen was a little bit glitchy.. I didn’t think anything of it.. But by the end of the day, the entire screen quit working.. So not only did I break one phone on vacation, my spare phone went capoop as well.. Thank you Mexico.. (I just picture Vince Vaughn in Dodge Ball saying, Thank you Chuck Norris)..
In Mexico, the Cheetos are amazing! They’ve got this special flavor that has just a hint of spice to it. So I bought the extra big bag. I never buy the extra-big anything, because that’s just more for me to spill. But I thought, I’ll just be really careful with this one. Really careful doesn’t mean anything when you are destined from birth to spill things, and for things to go horribly wrong when you’re around.. I think it’s actually one of my spiritual gifts, testimony enhancer really.. Which means: Bag of Cheetos, Meet girls kitchen floor.
I also shattered my favorite mug.. I’ve dropped it before and it just made a horrible sound and didn’t bust.. But eventually it couldn’t take the abuse and fell apart.. All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn’t put Justin’s favorite mug back together again..
I blogged a few weeks ago about the night from hell, before I preached.. I felt like I was actually in Egypt, when Pharaoh wouldn’t “let my people go” and the plague of locusts rained down from the heavens. Except in my case, it was fleas, coming up from the depths of hell.. Nice try satan, luckily I’m like the energizer bunny on crack when it comes to lack of sleep on a Sunday morning.. Sucker..
Oh, and I blogged last time about not only missing my dive the night after the scooters.. But also I hung Matt out to dry during the hurricane force winds that are the scooter-rental-people, when they took him for all that he was worth because I was too embarrassed about not diving..
Now, for the latest screw-ups/things that have just gone plain wrong:
The other day, I thought it would be funny, when everyone else was out at the pool to jump in with my scuba mask and snorkel.. Turns out, they don’t pay attention to me anyway, so I took the mask off and laid it on the side.. Have you heard the phrase “out of sight, out of mind?” Yup, forgot about my goggles, and when I finally remembered to go get them, they were gone.. So then I got to go wake up Sherief, which was becoming like a weekly thing, and tell him what happened.. He told me not to worry, that he had a spare.. So for atleast the time being, no harm no foul.. Right?
Wrong.. I went diving with Sherief’s extra mask, and it worked great for me all dive.. Second dive, same story, awesome mask. But an awesome mask, doesn’t fix the moron problem we got going on behind the mask.. We surfaced, got on the boat and left the dive site. I started breaking down my gear, and realized I couldn’t find Sherief’s mask, and again, was too embarrassed to say anything, so I didn’t.. When I got back to Blanquita’s I told the posse and we started brain storming about how we were going to break the news to our friend, who probably already feels like our babysitter.. I had gotten him a shark tooth necklace just like mine a few days earlier, so I figured I’d, you know, slip in the present, and then maybe casually ask him how much his awesome mask was (Like I was intending on getting one), and then when he spilled the beans, I’d bust out the cash/bad news.. I asked Matt to be my wing-man, and after bringing up the fact that I wasn’t his the other day, he still came. Thanks buddy!! But anyways, the plan still backfired.. Right when I knocked on his door last night, after telling us that we weren’t diving tomorrow he casually asked where his mask was.. You can probably imagine what was going on in my head: Throw him the necklace, Throw him the necklace!! (Reminds me of friends when Rachel and Joey’s little sister Gina were telling Joey that Gina was pregnant.. They brought him the meat ball sub.. Good episode..).. So I told him the bad news, then told him the plan to smooth him over with the gift.. He laughed and said, This wouldn’t have helped.. He wasn’t that mad, but I have been informed that we’re going by a dive shop today to purchase him another one.. Oh and by the way, he told me it was his favorite mask by the way.. Could’ve done without that information buddy..
All of us were talking the other day about how much our responsible dive instructor was going to miss us when we’re gone.. I think the correct comparison would be about the same as the way I miss my strep throat that I had in the 6th grade.. Kyndal mentioned that this is probably helping make the decision of whether or not he wants kids when he gets married..
SO after that long list, my screw ups have ceased for the mean time.. Even though my last one was yesterday, and I’ve only been up for 3 hours so far..
Oh, but by the way: There were a lot of people saying before I came here that I just better be ready to be sick the whole time. Up until the last two weeks, I’d thought that they were wacko.. Then Montezuma came to seek his vengeance on my entrails.. (If you’re confused by that statement, Montezuma’s Revenge is a phrase used to describe a bowel movement that is less than satisfactory..) For the last 2 weeks Pepto Bismol has been my Mucho Grande Amigo. Again, thanks, Mexico, for your hospitality..
Thanks for reading guys, All of us come home Wednesday, so ready or not, here we come!!
And by the way, right as I was unplugging my computer and getting ready to leave the coffee shop, I grabbed my charger and then reached to shut my computer. Knocked the sugar container (made of glass) off of the table, almost caught it, and then it landed on the floor.. Just like my mug, in a million pieces.. I couldn’t even keep from spilling something until tomorrow.. Sugar is all in my Chaco’s and stuck to my feet.. I tried to get the waitress to let me clean it up.. No go.. I can’t even clean up my own mess.. Thank you Destiny, for choosing me, worthy of coming home more clumsy than I left..
